This is from the inbox. The answering machine message is not real, but is based on a real situation at the Palisades Charter High School in California. They instituted a policy where students with ten or more unexcused absences per semester would fail the term. In February 2002, 130 students of the 2500 total failed for having the ten or more unexcused absences, resulting in an uproar and threats of lawsuits from parents — all of whom had been notified of the policy. This email was a humorous response to the situation. For what’s probably a brief reference to the problem, see their June 16, 2003 School Policies Committee Meeting Minutes at their old website.

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This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) Staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children’s failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school:

“Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

“To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

“To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

“To complain about what we do - Press 3

“To swear at staff members - Press 4

“To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

“If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

“If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

“To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8

“To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

“To complain about school lunches - Press 0

“If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort:

Hang up and have a nice day!”

If you can read this thank a teacher.

If you are reading it in English thank a veteran.