Sightings

I received this in email, and it was titled Idiot Sightings. However, as that’s not very charitable, let’s just call them Sightings, and you can decide how you want to characterize them.

I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, “NO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.” We haven’t used Sears repair since.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.” From Kingman, KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg. Another from Kansas City, KS

My nephew jokingly asked a worker in the local Burger King if they accepted Hawaiian money. He said, “No, only American.” True story! Lynchburg, VA

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask” Happened in Birmingham, AL.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!” She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker - she was leaving the company due to “downsizing” Our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs’ office no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “its open! His reply, “I know - I already got that side.” This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS.