The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

#15 Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.

#14 Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.

#13 If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.

#12 Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.

#11 So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?

#10 Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?

#9 Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.

#8 The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

#7 Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo.

#6 Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.

#5 In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.

#4 Just how big were those two beers?

#3 No sir we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.

#2 I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.

#1 You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? … You’re right, we don’t. … Sign here.