- In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”
- On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”
- On another Septic Tank Truck: “We’re #1 in the #2 business.”
- At a Proctologist’s door: “To expedite your visit please back in.”
- On a Plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
- On a Church’s Billboard: “7 days without God makes one weak.”
- At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: “Invite us to your next blowout.”
- On a Plastic Surgeon’s Office door: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”
- Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
- At a Towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
- In a Nonsmoking Area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
- On a Maternity Room door: “Push. Push. Push.”
- At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
- On a Taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”
- On a Fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”
- At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
- Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
- In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
- At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don’t, you will be.”
- In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”
- In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
- At a Propane Filling Station, “Thank heaven for little grills.”
- And don’t forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak”
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