He walked it past the guard post, and the agent on duty asked, “Sir, is that a new dog?”

Clinton nodded and replied, “Well, yes, I got it for my wife.”

The man looked at the the dog, then looked up with an approving look on his face and said, “Excellent trade, Sir.”

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not exactly sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“There’s no need! I want to be in Heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator, the doors open, and he rides the elevator down, down, down. When the doors open again, the senator finds himself in the middle of a beautiful, sprawling green golf course. In the distance is a club, and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone there is very happy and in formal dress. They run to greet him, and they reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and fine caviar.

Also present at the golf course is the Devil, who seems a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before the senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

The next 24 hours pass with the senator amongst a group of contented, smiling souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by, and St. Peter returns.

“Well, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, you must choose where you want to spend eternity.”

He reflects for a minute and then answers, “Well, I would never would have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better satisfied in Hell.”

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator, and down, down, down he goes into Hell. Now, the doors of the elevator open, and he is in the middle of a dismal land covered with stinking filth and garbage. He sees all his friends dressed in soiled rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. It is hot, hot, so hot, and the odor is just horrible.

Sweltering hot. Hot and miserable. The Devil walks over to him and smoothly lays his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “A day ago I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now this is just a wasteland full of filth and garbage, and my friends look utterly miserable.”

The Devil looks at the senator, smiles, and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us. Welcome to Hell.”

A: A God-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

A great response to the silly Democrat Party claims that Bush caused terrorism.

If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capitol which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington.

God bless Scott Ott and God bless the United States Military.

As reported by Scrappleface:

But the survey of National Education Association (NEA) members shows that “five out of four teachers find fault with the data.”

“It just doesn’t add up,” said an unnamed NEA spokesman. “We’ve spent three decades of the last 20 years teaching kids that their self-esteem and happiness are unrelated to their academic competence. The overwhelming minority of them now feel really happy about math.”

(Via)