Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. “You know,” he said, “I am 87 years old and I have never driven [...]

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Why are wedding dresses white?
So they match the refrigerator and the oven.
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An elderly couple were walking about the streets of their city, Moscow.They each feel drops of moisture on their faces. The man says that it is snowing, but his wife is convinced that it’s raining.
Finally, they see General Rudolph walking by, and the woman calls him over to settle the dispute.
The general says it’s definitely [...]

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Why didn’t man buy his wife a wrist watch for Christmas?
Why would she need one? There’s a clock on the stove.
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First-year students at Oklahoma State’s Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, “In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The [...]

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A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, What’cha gonna do about it?
Well, the [...]

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A tough old fighter pilot once counseled his young grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to put a teaspoon of JP-4 jet fuel in his orange juice every morning. The grandson did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 110.
When the grandson died, he left [...]

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A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”
The pirate raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I feel fine.”
“Um, what about the wooden leg? As I recall, you didn’t have that last time you were here.”
The pirate nodded, “Oh, yeah. [...]

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A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, “I shot [...]

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A Sunday School teacher asked Johnny, “Do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”
“No,” he replied. “How could he, with just two worms?”
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A. FshSurrealistsQ: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a [...]

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